Chuckles for everyone

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Buster
Posts: 73
Joined: Fri Jul 20, 2018 9:19 am
Location: Sarasota

Chuckles for everyone

Post by Buster »

Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?
DONALD TRUMP: I've been told by my many sources, good sources - they're very good sources - that the chicken crossed the road. All the Fake News wants to do is write nasty things about the road, but it's a really good road. It's a beautiful road. Everyone knows how beautiful it is.
Joe Biden: Why did the chicken do the...thing in the...you know the rest.
SARAH PALIN: The chicken crossed the road because, gosh-darn it, he's a maverick!
BARACK OBAMA: Let me be perfectly clear, if the chickens like their eggs they can keep their eggs. No chicken will be required to cross the road to surrender her eggs. Period.
AOC: Chickens should not be forced to lay eggs! This is because of corporate greed! Eggs should be able to lay themselves.
HILLARY CLINTON: What difference at this point does it make why the chicken crossed the road.
GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either with us or against us. There is no middle ground here.
DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?
BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken.
AL GORE: I invented the chicken.
JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.
AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white?
OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross the road so badly. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a NEW CAR so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
ANDERSON COOPER: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.
PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.
KING DAVID: O Lord, why dost thy chicken cross thy road? And why art thy chicken hawks beset around it? Surely in vain thy road is crossed in thy sight of any predator.
GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.
BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish it's lifelong dream of crossing the road.
BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2020, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken2020. This new platform is much more stable and will never reboot.
ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?
COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?
Serenity now ...
S&W collector
Posts: 144
Joined: Wed Jul 18, 2018 2:52 pm
Location: Orlando area

Post by S&W collector »

Very nice to read something of comedy for a change.🍻
mavrik
Posts: 171
Joined: Thu Jul 19, 2018 1:56 pm
Location: Ocala

Post by mavrik »

I work in a small office part-time couple days a week now. Some lady just came in and when she saw that I didn’t have a mask on she jumped backwards 6 feet, small lady mind you but she really jumped and said “you don’t have a mask on”! So I felt kind of bad, mostly for her though and the fear she’s living in. I tried to tell I’d put it on but can’t just breath co2 all day. Anyways, thanks for the comedy, everyone of them was great, I couldn’t stop reading them. 😁Mav
AirForceShooter
Posts: 118
Joined: Wed Jul 18, 2018 4:36 pm
Location: Sarasota/Manatee

Post by AirForceShooter »

This is great..
I'm stealing it

AFS
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Buster
Posts: 73
Joined: Fri Jul 20, 2018 9:19 am
Location: Sarasota

Post by Buster »

AirForceShooter wrote: Thu May 28, 2020 10:47 am This is great..
I'm stealing it

AFS
I did! So can you.
We all could use some harmless humor!
Enjoy
Serenity now ...
Big bore lover
Posts: 207
Joined: Fri Jul 20, 2018 1:46 pm
Location: Palm Harbor

Post by Big bore lover »

Excellent. Now to copynpaste it on facebook so all the haters can get higher blood pressure from reading it and finding out they don't like the ending.
Thanks tons. I loved it.

:D :D :D
Those who forget history are destined to repeat it.
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Firemedic2000
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Joined: Wed Jul 18, 2018 4:01 pm
Location: Tampa Bay

Post by Firemedic2000 »

Big bore lover wrote: Thu May 28, 2020 12:03 pm Excellent. Now to copynpaste it on facebook so all the haters can get higher blood pressure from reading it and finding out they don't like the ending.
Thanks tons. I loved it.

:D :D :D
:lol: great read almost made me change my avatar to a chicken, oh what the heck it was that good 8-)

BTW we need beer emojis like S&W used :P
RANGER AIRBORNE, BLACK TEAM, FIREMEDIC, NRA BENEFACTOR
In the Government's/Elitist eye's I'm a Terrorist for believing in the Constitution and taking an oath to defend it instead of POLITICAL LEADERS
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Firemedic2000
Posts: 1473
Joined: Wed Jul 18, 2018 4:01 pm
Location: Tampa Bay

Post by Firemedic2000 »

mavrik wrote: Wed May 27, 2020 11:48 am I work in a small office part-time couple days a week now. Some lady just came in and when she saw that I didn’t have a mask on she jumped backwards 6 feet, small lady mind you but she really jumped and said “you don’t have a mask on”! So I felt kind of bad, mostly for her though and the fear she’s living in. I tried to tell I’d put it on but can’t just breath co2 all day. Anyways, thanks for the comedy, everyone of them was great, I couldn’t stop reading them. 😁Mav
Is this a joke or for real. If so WOW some people just over react. I can't speak for you guys. But I do not personally know of anyone that has COVID. Nor does anyone that that I know. Know anyone that has COVID and I know alot of people and Sun City Center is just a 5 mins away and I've spoken to guys at two stations in the past week.
RANGER AIRBORNE, BLACK TEAM, FIREMEDIC, NRA BENEFACTOR
In the Government's/Elitist eye's I'm a Terrorist for believing in the Constitution and taking an oath to defend it instead of POLITICAL LEADERS
GunsandHoses
Posts: 456
Joined: Sat Jul 21, 2018 10:03 pm
Location: Pines

Post by GunsandHoses »

Good stuff!
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